“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” Paul wrote that in his first letter to the church in Corinth. Notice that this is NOT a command but a statement, a fact: every man is the head of his household. As some have said, you can be a bonehead, a meathead, a musclehead, an airhead or a knucklehead…but you cannot NOT be the head. So, why not do whatever it takes to be a godly head?
Some men might say to God, “OK, I see it clearly stated in Scripture that I am the head of my household. But I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know if I can do it.” Then he adds one more very important statement and an even more important question: “God, I want to know what it means, and I want to obey You, and I want to lead my family, and I want to learn how to build godly relationships with my family–but I am so afraid I will fail. Will You help me?” God loves that prayer.
I believe understanding our role as leaders is key not only to revival in our homes, but to revival in our churches, and even revival in our nation. Richard Baxter, the great Puritan pastor and writer, said, “You are not likely to see any general reformation until you see family reformation.”
There is a deeper truth that I pray will be fruit from stepping up to love and lead our families. That truth is that you and I will know our acceptance and love from our heavenly Father, and that knowledge will transform our manhood, making us free to love Him and those whom He has entrusted to us. Milton Vincent writes in his powerful little book, A Gospel Primer, “Outside of heaven, the power of God in its highest density is found inside the gospel. This must be so, for the Bible twice describes the gospel as ‘the power of God.’ Nothing else in all of Scripture is ever described in this way, except for the Person of Jesus Christ.”
I recently heard Richard Reeves speak on the topic of his 2024 book, Of Boys and Men, about the trend in the culture right now. From rising male suicide rates to widening education gaps, and from sports betting addiction to body-image pressures once thought to belong mainly to girls, Reeves argues that boys and men are not so much acting out as they are checking out. Scott Galloway suggests many young men are “not going out,” “not getting a plan,” and “not getting jobs” because their dopamine needs are met by virtual wins in gaming or social media. He highlights that young men are increasingly isolated, lacking the confidence to approach others for mentorship or friendship, which makes them less “economically and emotionally viable.” He has pointed out that young men aged 20 to 30 now spend less time outdoors than prison inmates, with nearly all their free time consumed by online activities like gaming, gambling, and social media.
There is a simple but often neglected message young men need to hear: we need you. We need you to pray for and pursue calling and marriage. Marriage is a gift from God and the married man, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, is to please the Lord and his wife. There are some who are choosing to be single or to delay marriage for all the wrong reasons, but some are single because God has called them and gifted them with singlehood. Their lives will focus completely on pleasing the Lord. But the normative desire is for marriage, so young men, pursue that. If you are supposed to be single for service to God, He will make that clear. And young men, pursue your calling. What has he called you to do? I had lots of jobs that were not my calling, but I knew I was called to work. So I worked until I found it, because, it’s hard to steer a parked car. Get the training or the education to do what he has called you to do. Young men, we also need you in the church. The future of any healthy church will look a lot like it does now: older men are walking alongside younger men in service and leadership, and older women are walking alongside younger women, in service and leadership.
Don’t miss out on being part of that. Step up, younger and older men. It’s not too late.
J. Mark Fox 